Being alone...

Solitude…the gratest luxury of all…if I have disagreed before…I take my words back…after 2 days of frenzy of people….i need it badly…like how a fish needs water to survive…well…get it right…i am a loner…by choice…I don’t like being surrounded by too many people…and too much noise…it suffocates me…and leaves me gasping for breath at the end of the day…my idea of a get together is limited to being with 2/3 close friends or a few close family members….yes and in case if they let me be in my own world for most of the time...many of them wont notice it anyway...then its fine…but to expect to be in crowd....and people expecting you be active and alert to all the conversations and surroundings takes it toll on me...sometimes I just want to be alone…period….

I was wondering when do people want to alone and when do they are lonely...i guess...when you r alone by choice...it’s being alone...and when you r left alone...its loneliness...but why and when do we feel alone?...’twilight’ is one thing that immediately comes to mind…no matter where you are…no matter what language you speak…this is the feeling that doesn’t need any words….or boundaries…’twilight blues’…you always feel ‘somewhat uneasy’ at certain period of time in the evening just after sun is set...it makes you feel lethargic, nostalgic, lonely...it feels as if nothing would ever go your way...and then suddenly as it appears...it goes away ..mysterious as it seems...but not forgetting its appointment with us the very next day..and after and after....

And yes…when you take a decision….you feel alone….no matter how many people have supported you to take this final step…you r all alone in that last second..when you actually say ‘yes’ or ‘no’….and then when that hard fought decision goes wrong….you feel even terrible…acknowledging your defeat...it just weighs upon your shoulders....
And of course when you know you were wrong…you feel alone…and when you know you were right…it feels even worse….

Then you r watching a movie or enjoying a poem or reading a book...or a sudden thought crosses your mind....and there's no one to share...you try to reach every possible source in the world...and nothing comes back....thats when you feel alone…
You are going for a bath…you open the tap…expecting lukewarm water to welcome you….but no....it is bone chilling cold...you have forgotten to check the switch…you shiver…aren’t you alone in that feeling?
You are in college farewell party…everybody is busy shaking the leg on the bollywood music and enjoying…you want to go…but you don’t or you cant…don’t you feel outdated at that instant?

God…there are so many occasions around you when you feel lonely and alone…no wonder everybody craves for company lest the loneliness lurking in the corner attack you…and catches you unaware…and man is a social animal they say...