Feeling blue...

Do you feel the ‘void’ one day after the ‘birthday’…it feels as if people are telling you…’yesterday all we did is to pamper you…now wake up….dream day is over….you get back to the routine and let us get back to ours….’….as if they had enough of u in one day…now they will just ignore you…well they don’t really…it just feels that way….and it wasn’t exactly my birthday L

Don’t know why ‘m feeling a bit down since last 2 days….bored, uneasy calm descending upon me and the surroundings….something is just not right….maybe it is…but I don’t feel that way…as if the ‘twilight blues’ are working overtime to make up for the recession…we seem to have everywhere around us….and I don’t know the reason….hence there’s no solution….’cos I know I am essentially an optimist….i believe even if things seem to go wrong, there’s always a solution if u r willing to find it…there’s always a way is been my motto for long….then why do I feel the way I am feeling?? Well…the feeling comes back once in a while…its not frequent…but its not rare either….. Sometimes I get bored to the limit…to the point of pondering over end of life…and it suffocates me….its the feeling I can’t define…but it doesn’t go away…..

Sometimes I wonder….what do I want exactly? Love, fame, money…what? I seem to have enough of everything required to be fairly happy and content in life….but these things never seem to be enough…whats that one ‘thing’ (if at all it’s a thing), I am constantly looking out for…striving for…. ‘m not a perfectionist either…..

As I am going crazy over these thoughts, a group of people, of both genders and ages…but mostly old people are busy collecting neem leaves for tomorrow…for Gudipadva….they are busy pulling a huge branch of a tree down to get some (free) neem leaves which r considered auspicious for the occasion…and in the process they have brought entire tree down….with their efforts…there it is…a huge branch of neem lying on the ground…and people are jostling each other for their share…somehow the site is not pretty….even I need to get some of them for tomorrow…but forget it…collecting those leaves from that branch just seems cheap….something again is not right….i start feeling down again…..as if I really need a reason…..

Does that branch feel pain? Does the pain ever go away….or do a point come where pain just stops…or its an eternal thing…never ending…God…am I feeling sorry for that branch now?….well…that’s the kind of mood I’m in….