Have you noticed this? Its quite funny…actually…everybody is doing these for ages…but it just clicked today at random…remember the old game of ‘putting a bindi on forehead’...eyes blindfolded’….everybody knows there’s no logic to it…no known formula to solve it…no trick to crack the code…no magic to unveil…its just a pure time pass game…meant for exactly that....to pass the time and to have fun…
but still almost all participants take it very seriously including me…they will do all sorts of things…first they will try to look important….as if going on a mission….then when blindfolded they will walk towards the board…in fact they will be led toward the board …don’t have choice there J…then with an authoritative manner…will try to feel the board with hands as if they know exactly what they r doing….will try to judge the dimensions …and pretend to take measurements…with their hands…will take their time to decide the spot…judge the distance from the top of the board…and then put that bindi on the board…99.99% of the times…way away from the spot intended….
and then when blindfolds are removed…they look at the board with anticipation…and with incredulous look…feign surprise that after all those meticulous calculations and measurements…how can one go wrong?...
no way i am analysing the situation…’m just amused at the mass mentality….and I don’t boast to be any different from it…isn’t it a common sense to put a bindi right away without thinking and be done with it…?
There’s something to it though…a ever present wish to excel….an even more ubiquitous dread to go wrong in front of crowds…and funnily people don’t mind it when they go wrong in front of the unknown people…but they absolutely hate when the people known 2 u witness this…strange but very common…
i was wondering...if some cool invention allows me to go back in time...say 5 years...10 years....so now i know fully well...whats going to happen to me in all the situations in the future...so would i be able to change the way i behave in the past...or i would just be a spectator again...
I am using a new method to tackle my daughter…these days…in any case she is beyond the ‘tangible’ powers in the house…and doesn’t listen to anybody…certainly has a mind of her own…there’s no other way…its always and always ‘only her way’ all along…so inevitably I hv used a story…just like my mother must hv used the same for me ..(tu lahan astana mi pan tula hech sangat hote type)..…there’s a certain ‘devbappa’ sitting in the sky and his main job is to watch over the kids…how do they behave…do they listen to elders? Do they brush their teeth in the morning and before going to sleep….do they eat properly…and all sorts of stuff…and when he sees a child behaving like a good boy/girl…he writes it in a book…(a red book for good work, a black book for bad behaviour..thats my daughters invention…she is somehow fascinated with colours...everything has to be associated with colours...so even ‘bappa’ has to have a color…)…and that has worked temporarily J….you can see her sitting on a window pane and staring at the sky curiously..and wondering what her ‘favourite bappa’ is doing right now…she has eaten well today…she has finished her tiffin…is bappa observing..? is he writing in the red book…(she wanted the pink color for the book and the bappa…but bappa is a boy so no pink color…red color instead…black is out of question….’Bappa’ is certainly in her good books J)…
That has set me thinking….kids understand all the stuff so easily and correctly…they know once the things r explained to them….if you behave well…u r in God’s good books and if u don’t behave well…u r invariably in bad books….its all about getting a zero at the end of calculation….thats how it works…
So what do I believe? Does the God exist? Yes...definitely it does…otherwise how will u explain inexplicable phenomena going around you…ok so if it does, whats its purpose? …and why there’s so much evil around in the world…why there r crimes in the world…why there is so much pain in the world…if God is supposed to be watching all the time…only plausible explanation acc. to me…is… God is not meant for all these things in the first place…the basic assumption seems to be wrong….we r working in wrong premises…God is not there to make your life perfect all the time…he can not and will not take responsibility for each and every person in the world…he has given you powers, talent, virtues, capacity and other things…and how you work on it..how u use it...its entirely upon you..its your decision and responsibility…don’t blame him if things go wrong…and don’t ask for free favours.. …no blackmailing please....’Bhagvad Gita’ has the right message…’nothing is in your hand…everything is decided…but that doesn’t mean you will sit idle…you must work hard without blaming your luck….and without expecting the results…and if u fail…work harder next time…’
and then another question…whats diff between a religious person and an atheist? I do not (willingly) indulge nor I believe in ‘Puja’…I (willingly) don’t go to temples most of the times…when passing a temple, I don’t pray…I never go to a temple before an interview or an exam or anything imp in my life...and I haven’t ask him any favours in my life….but sometimes…when I need a bit of courage to do things…when I stumble for a moment before taking a step forward…my hand accidentally touches the Ganpati pendant I wear all the time…quietly asking for blessings….quietly gaining that inner strength back in me…quietly checking that ‘the invisible power’ is somewhere with me…even if I cant see it…as if I am touching an elder’s feet….does that make me an atheist? Or a believer? Why can’t I label myself…one way or the other? Do I fear God? What does the concept ‘mukti’ means?
Do you have problems deleting your messages in the inbox…or texts from ur cellphone? Well…it seems I do hv a problem with that stuff….i wonder what it is that makes it so difficult to press the red delete button…I remember the countless times…I hv gone through texts on my cell…wondering over and over again which ones to keep and which ones to delete….and at the end of every session, I either end up deleting all or deletine none…’it would irritate me to think what I am doing is to hold countless emotions together…little bits of pieces…joys, laughter….and wondering what to do with it…and i hate to do away with texts ...i admit...
I guess…it’s the same everywhere in my life….how I deal with these texts reflect wonderfully well…how I deal with life….i hate to throw away even a trivial thing when I supposedly try to clean out my cupboard….whatever I take out to throw away finally gets in again…to its old place…at the end of every session…
I also have another terrible habit to save chat histories…and indulge in them in my free time…well..Yes…it’s a good way to re-live good times…but being a machine…it forgots to be selective abt it…and retains all the bad memories too…
Do all of us do the same thing…try to cling to past in every form we can or do I hv this ‘delete-phobia’ that doesn’t let me enjoy the present moments…..
Whats happening to me? …it was an India vs Pakistan match just the other day...…after 2 years….people around me were jumping with joy for every run scored, biting nails for every wicket gone down…enjoying Bhajji’s encounter with Shoaib…and finally going berserk when India won the close encounter with one ball to spare…and I was like…’whats wrong with these people’….and today India won the Asia cup...and i'm still like...'whats the big deal'...
Not long ago…I was proud of myself for being cricket fanatic….i was obsessed with cricket…for last 20-22 years…people have wondered how a girl can be that crazy for a sport? Am I not a sports buff now?…no…a certain Rodger federer win still sends shivers back my spine....a saina nehwal doing good in a sports that I don’t like much still makes me feel proud about her…a Michael Schumacher comeback in F1 race still thrills me…then what? Dada’s retirement…well…I thought that was the reason I was moving away from cricket….but then I didn’t even enjoy IPL as much as I should have where he was playing…
Will somebody please help me to find my passion for cricket back? I seem to have lost it somewhere and not able to find it…and I am hating myself for that…big time…
I have always wondered…why two people…not remotely in the blood relation still resemble each other in some sort of uncanny way at times….the two close friends…a couple…a husband & a wife…and why only these examples…even colleagues working together….why they resemble so much if they r not related by blood…when they do not have same genes….they aren’t connected emotionally….most of the times…today I was attending Saee’s school annual meeting….and there they were again…two principals sitting side by side…again had that resemblance….i was astonished…and that got me thinking again….surely they r not even remotely related…but yes…they have worked together side by side, weathered every storm together for 20-25 years…I guess…when the two people r in perfect harmony with each other….when their inner voice communicates well….thats where the resemblance occurs….in extreme cases, people call them soulmates….
There are days when i like everything about me...including my temper, my almost non existing verbal communication skills...and there are days when i start disliking myself for everything i am and everything i am not..its the balance i am seeking...its the balance that counts in the end..just like for everything else...
