Virtually yours...

I have noticed a funny trait in people…including yours truly…people sometimes prefer to remain in invisible mode for no particular reason…enjoying the comfort to remain in the background and still getting best seat for the show...and then they can watch people turning on-off as per their whims....and surprize a friend sometimes with a sudden message…I love this comfort of being on threshold of real and the virtual world...and the power to decide which side of the world i want to be...I guess one of the reasons people do this is ‘cos they miss those old days when the Net had not penentrated so much into their life…

Even accepting the fact that…'m a certified net addict…don’t you sometimes lament the loss of "offline" life we had back then - there was so much unknown, so much to be explored - like unseen/unheard places's pictures in Nat Geo or Discovery….. It was fun to ask questions…remember the countless hours spent in library…sleepless nights pondering over the problems....and then feeling euphoric once u get it…how things have changed…for the better?..well I can’t decide that…but even the word ‘Search’ is going extinct…now you just ‘Google’ it…its like passing the exam with flying colors…but not able to enjoy your success fully….knowing very well…you dont deserve that success….

These days everything around you seem to be virtual…virtual friends…relations…meeting….affairs…world….only excuse I seem to have these days for not being able to be in touch…is ‘my friends are not net savy..’…sure…the virtual world gives you feeling of world being at your ‘finger-tips’….but i guess it makes us less appreciative of the real one..

New year beckons...

So….the new year is here….2010…2010 does sound something special…I hv a fetish for full complete numbers….or else 2010 isnt going to be much different from 2009 (or will it?) but 2010 just sounds better and exciting....and this obsession doesnt stop with the new year only...whenever i want to start doing s'thing new ...like if I am playing FV on net…and really should be studying Japanese…one look at clock tells me its 9:37...i will say...'oh..well is it 9:37...gr8...i will play until 10...and then i will start studying...or if its wednesday or thursday..i will comfort myself saying...let me continue doing this fo r 2/3 days..and i will start studying from monday...'cos starting s'thing on friday just doesnt seem good... ….feels better mentally to start on a Monday…first day of the week….there’s always a new day, a Monday, 1^st day of the month, new year….so you see that’s the sort of person I am…

Hmm…so a brand new year….as always I hv a list of resolutions I want to do….resolutions r funny things…aint they? You should avoid making them in the first place..and when you finally succumb to the temptation…all you do in the next year is to break them one by one…quite happily…w/o the slightest trace of guilt…but no…still I am a great fan of resolutions and I will continue making them…u know what i have made one of the toughest resolutions of my life this year....in a relationship...give 100% but expect less...i thought this is impossible just a few years ago....but in the last year i have improved myself...i certainly expect 10% less now...so this year i plan to expect even less....maybe upto 50%...

And yes there’s one more thing special in the year…my blog is turning 1 in a few days….its been quite an eventful and satisfying journey…and I have loved every second of it...all that a writer virtual or otherwise needs is a pair of eyes...who will 'read'...so i guess i will dedicate the first post of the year to those 'elite pair of eyes' who brought me to the thing i love...writing...thnks buddy for always being there...you have been a big inspiration….and I promise I will make your life even more miserable by writing even more this year….the new year beckons…

Darkness...

Darkness isevil...darkness is shadow...darkness enters when there is no light...i wonder why i have always found peace in darkness....it works as solace for me...solace from the world..solace from the day...solace from the lights...

Staring at the horizon, with the eagerness of newly wed bride i smiled to myself as darkness took over the world...bringing with it memories...good and bad....they say when you cant see....you can feel the power of touch...when there is light...eyes do most of the work...and dont let other senses rule...

A tear trickled down my face...and i didnt bother to wipe it...it was long due...waiting patiently...waiting for that elite cover of darkness....and i smiled again....for the safety of solitude it offers to me...to let me shed a few tears here and there...in memories of all the moments i have lived...but would never ever re-live again...

Growing older...

Whats this about ‘growing older’…I’m suddenly finding a lot many changes in me…that r supposed to b part of growing up…they say…I do not understand whether i belong to older generation or the current one...but I am finding certain changes in me that r totally new…

As a zoology student…we had lot of dissections in the practicals…and i was proud of the fact i can do all the dissections without any fuss...before lunch...after lunch didn't matter...when most of the girls around me were sceptical about touching the animal to be dissected after the lunch...lest nausea will overpower them....and i could easily see through all the operations they show on the TV….without any dizziness…when I saw dogs or cats or cattle or for that matter humans…run over by passing trucks on the highway…I was OK enough to watch the sight…but these days..i am finding it difficult to remain calm and cool when I witness such sights…I actually feel sick at times…this is a strange thing to happen to me…I thought I am quite tough mentally…is this a part of growing up?

I love collecting books…key chains….coins…stamps…and a lot of other things…suddenly I have found myself wondering why i am doing all this...whats the use...what will happen once i go out of this world..what if these things would leave unattended in my absence then...why these thoughts have started travelling in my mind...i am certainly not old enough to think about 'what after'...

just the other day….we have this girl in the office…who must b around 25/26…but acts like she is a child of no more than 5/6..always irritates me to the core to see her around….but today was her birthday…and her friends in the office threw a party for her on the office terrace …we all were invited…there was cake…candles…caps…masks...balloons....the cake was marked with a candle for age 5...they say that was her mental age…god…how I agree with them…but she was thoroughly enjoying all the attention showered on her…she cut the cake…with we all singing a loud ‘happy birthday’ for her…and then she was smeared with cake all over….and ‘cos she was of age 5…she said she will eat all the cake with her hands sitting right there on the floor..and she did just that…and her friends were equally enthusiastic too….in the end we all got return gifts…a scented eraser just like in school days…in the end she said…’this was one of the best birthday celebrations she ever had in her life…and she was touched beyond words…’…she sounded just like an adult then...and in that moment....i envied her.....is that part of ‘growing up' that I find all this childish…but somewhere deep down I was enjoying the spectacle…celebrating with friends …

I was going to office today…and suddenly a teenager overtook me with frantic speed...he was on kinetic....and almost hit me on the way...i was all geared up and angry...and drove like a fanatic for the next 10 min...and finally caught up with the boy...and eventually overtook him...well...at least i hv something left with me that i can identify with...i felt better....

A friend in need...

A friend in need...
Originally uploaded by neeta_online

I was going to office the other day...when i saw three boys playing on the road...one of them fell down and got hurt in the process...his knee was badly bruised...and he could hardly walk...what these guys did...they took a metal plate lying around on the road...helped their friend on it...and just pulled him from both sides...the trick worked wonderfully well...as the metal plate slided effortlessly along the ground...a friend in need is a friend indeed :)

I watched it thro'out and enjoyed it more....got late to the office in the end...

Taking advantage...

A strange experience….waiting @ the traffic signal on my bike…a boy aged 5/6 approached me…and asked for money...i dislike beggars in general and never entertain these people at any point of time...call me inhuman…so the immediate reaction was to ignore him completely...that i did...but he persisted and kept asking for money....i had no choice but to look at him….i waved him away with the firm 'No'....he waited for a fraction of a second...and took out a cloth from his pocket...and started dusting my bike...continuing with his demand for money....his body language was still the same...that of a beggar..asking for free money...but his eyes betrayed him...they were not begging...they were demanding...as if now it has suddenly become his lawful right....i wondered where to draw that thin line…

Thinking over...

I am sitting in a window with paper in my hand…rain is pouring down the streets of Pune….people are running around for cover….the rain has caught everyone unaware…like always..but then when it pours…it pours….there’s something uniquely strange about the rain…you can feel almost every emotion listening to sound of rain beating down your window panes….’’how r u feeling today…well…ok…fine with me….i will still be with you…’’ and it pours….so....i am sitting with a paper in front of me…and wondering what to write….i hv totally forgotten what I wanted to write in the first place…and the paper is making my job even harder….’cos it has lines …. simply detest these ‘marked’ papers…a blank paper is all I want and a pen..the paper which leaves you totally alone…no you cant even expect support of the lines…….i correlate myself to the painter who has nothing but a canvas with him…and a whole world to draw…or an actor who stands in front of a large audience….the other side waiting to see how you will respond….a knot in the stomach….the paper with the lines suffocate me…it says ….a road is marked for you….now walk on it…do not try to deviate from the set route…that’s how I see it…obligation….monotony…..
well yes…I have remembered….what I wanted to jote down was about getting back to where I belong…job I mean….it feels great….2 years in hiatus hv made me even desperate….and what a job I have….while I am translating machine manuals for a lighting system….someone around me is going thro’ a French medical journal…and debating over choice of words….we even have a Sardar in our office who is translating an English novel into Punjabi….talk about the colleagues….i have almost every language on earth for company…and that’s what make it so special….if at all I opt for a business sometime in future…this is exactly I want to do….a translation firm for all the languages…..it would be a dream come true….