Growing older...

Whats this about ‘growing older’…I’m suddenly finding a lot many changes in me…that r supposed to b part of growing up…they say…I do not understand whether i belong to older generation or the current one...but I am finding certain changes in me that r totally new…

As a zoology student…we had lot of dissections in the practicals…and i was proud of the fact i can do all the dissections without any fuss...before lunch...after lunch didn't matter...when most of the girls around me were sceptical about touching the animal to be dissected after the lunch...lest nausea will overpower them....and i could easily see through all the operations they show on the TV….without any dizziness…when I saw dogs or cats or cattle or for that matter humans…run over by passing trucks on the highway…I was OK enough to watch the sight…but these days..i am finding it difficult to remain calm and cool when I witness such sights…I actually feel sick at times…this is a strange thing to happen to me…I thought I am quite tough mentally…is this a part of growing up?

I love collecting books…key chains….coins…stamps…and a lot of other things…suddenly I have found myself wondering why i am doing all this...whats the use...what will happen once i go out of this world..what if these things would leave unattended in my absence then...why these thoughts have started travelling in my mind...i am certainly not old enough to think about 'what after'...

just the other day….we have this girl in the office…who must b around 25/26…but acts like she is a child of no more than 5/6..always irritates me to the core to see her around….but today was her birthday…and her friends in the office threw a party for her on the office terrace …we all were invited…there was cake…candles…caps…masks...balloons....the cake was marked with a candle for age 5...they say that was her mental age…god…how I agree with them…but she was thoroughly enjoying all the attention showered on her…she cut the cake…with we all singing a loud ‘happy birthday’ for her…and then she was smeared with cake all over….and ‘cos she was of age 5…she said she will eat all the cake with her hands sitting right there on the floor..and she did just that…and her friends were equally enthusiastic too….in the end we all got return gifts…a scented eraser just like in school days…in the end she said…’this was one of the best birthday celebrations she ever had in her life…and she was touched beyond words…’…she sounded just like an adult then...and in that moment....i envied her.....is that part of ‘growing up' that I find all this childish…but somewhere deep down I was enjoying the spectacle…celebrating with friends …

I was going to office today…and suddenly a teenager overtook me with frantic speed...he was on kinetic....and almost hit me on the way...i was all geared up and angry...and drove like a fanatic for the next 10 min...and finally caught up with the boy...and eventually overtook him...well...at least i hv something left with me that i can identify with...i felt better....